Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
