Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
