omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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