I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize