OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You are a genius and a whore.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
