WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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