ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize