so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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