i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
