I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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