My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
