worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
