How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
