im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
