before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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