i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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