Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
