69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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