nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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