i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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