My first STD was from a foam party
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you inspire me to be a worse person
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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