that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
