i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
