Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she woke up with a sticky ear
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
