so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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