dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
