Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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