His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
