Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
it was like eating out sand paper
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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