If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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