Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
