i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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