I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ketchup is God's man juice
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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