I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
