She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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