How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
