I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
