I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize