i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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