Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
