Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize