If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
