Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
