i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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