Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
