we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
