Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
