My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
