the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just threw up on my dentist
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
