On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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