I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
