If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm really busy with my period
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