My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
