Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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