she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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