what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
