i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
