Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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