i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
