I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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