i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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