Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
