my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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