No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize