I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
