fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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