i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize
