When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
