Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
my poor anus
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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