Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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