im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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